when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
even my farts smell like vagina
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
