i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
