I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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