I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
