great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
