Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
