im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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