she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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