Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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