drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
