Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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