I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
only you would photoshop your dick
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
