??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
