I hope mine doesn't look like that
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
