Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
