I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
