i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
