im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
They took my balls.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize