yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
