i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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