do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Damn victory sex feels great
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize