You just made me feel so damn special
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
