There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Pooping to opera.
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