this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
