It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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