He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
