so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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