Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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