I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
you would pick up someone in the library
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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