My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
