Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
