I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Randomize
