Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
