She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize