So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
