he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
do herpes really smell.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
