Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize