i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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