So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm sobbing to NWA
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
