porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
