matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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