If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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