I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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