just survived the first fart of the relationship.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
