Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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