You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
