dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
