I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
