I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
