I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
