Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
