I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
