That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
