i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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