Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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