so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i can't believe i had my finger in that
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
