whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
