Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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