i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize