My nipple is on Facebook.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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