thus making me awesome and them whores
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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