i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
sex in a hospital.. check
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
