like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
