I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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