Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
