So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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