Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Randomize
