its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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