sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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