This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
