i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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