your room smells of hookers.
And success
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
