lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
