you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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