Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
