My nipple is on Facebook.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
